John, I really don't know the answer to this question. Perhaps one of our other readers can throw some light on this aspect of Amish life.
I do know that death within the Amish community is viewed as something that is a natural process in the circle of life and that the death of family members and friends is accepted as God's will. The death of a loved one is seen as something that will also bring them closer to God.
The Amish deal with their grief very privately and in a controlled, stoic and reserved manner. Another way of showing acceptance of God's plan. This is not to because they feel less emotion - of course they do, but just that the showing of their grief is something that is done in private rather than an outward show of emotion.
As friends and family will visit a family who has lost a loved one every Sunday, for at least a year, perhaps they do talk about them during that time. To me that would be inevitable and natural.
What the Amish don't do is they never go back to visit the grave as for them, the spirit has left the body and there is no point in visiting what is not there.